End World Hunger, Eat People

Just by the title of this Jer-losophy segment, you can tell I’m probably going to cross a few moral lines here. But….I’m thinking it could be funny and if I can steal a cheap laugh then that’s what I’m going to do. So shut and giggle

One of the major issues that are plaguing the world is…Global Hunger. Trust me hunger blows, you don’t believe me? Go ask someone who is starving and they will tell you. Starving is something I like to refer to as “Forced Gandhi-ism” because it’s just like “Fasting” except you don’t have a choice.

This group of helpless starving people doesn’t include Super Models, Emo chicks, some of my ex’s or high school Cheerleaders because they do that dumb shit on purpose. If you’re going to starve yourself then fine but don’t puke up the food. Just put the tin foil back on the leftovers and leave it in the fridge for someone else. You’re already being ignorant, no use in being wasteful as well.

Also for your information, the act of puking up good food while people in other parts of the world bomb each other for a cup of rice. That mind set of western world arrogance is one of the many reasons why terrorists want to kill us, so thanks.

Anyway, you hear about food shortages all around the world but people are an endless commodity. If you read up on it, a lot of cows, pigs and chickens are getting infected with diseases. Like Mad-cow disease but people can’t get mad cow disease because we’re not freakin cows. It wouldn’t matter anyway because people are already crazy, so why not just cut out the middle man and eat mankind. There are 6 billion of us, no one will notice and hell it would help with population control. Just don’t end up as one of the motherfuckers who getting eaten. It’s called a food “Chain” for a reason, climb up to the top of it. Just trying to help folks, that’s all.

Hey! Maybe people from different countries taste like different things,

Asians, may taste like Chinese food

Germans, may taste like Weiner Schnitzel

British, may taste like tea and crumpets

Mexicans, may taste like Taco Bell

So on and so forth because these are questions that we need answers to. Our very survival may depend on it.

Word from most Cannibals is that people taste like chicken and I don’t know about you but I think chicken is pretty fucking good. So maybe we are carelessly closing ourselves off from a new, taster and abundant way of feeding the hungry. You don’t want people to starve do you? I didn’t think so, so stop being selfish, close minded douche nuggets.

Drink on for me…

~ by jeremythegreatshow on September 26, 2008.