The Obstacles of Old Fucks

What the hell is it with most old people? They’re annoying, crazy and in the way. I mean they have nothing to do all day so; they purposely get in the way of the hard working people. They get up bright and early at the ass crack of dawn. Crawl out of their reclining beds, choke down their 20 medications, pop in there dentures, hop on their rascals then infect the world with their arthritis and ignorance.

You ascend on the fast lanes of the highway, you clutter the express of stores or any other place you can piss us off and get in the way. You go a whopping 50 miles and hour under the speed limit. You weave in and out of both sides of traffic. Pick a lane and stay in the right side, this isn’t fucking Europe.

Hey I got a question for all of them; do you guys like being retired? Do you like the money that Social Security and all those other places give you? Better yet, here’s the question. Would you like all those programs to pay you even more money? We the middle class worker would love to pay back your years of service but we can’t if your stupidity is keeping a dozen of us hostage in a drive thru.

Because all I want is my over priced, over sugared, fully caffeinated artificial boost. But no…I’m supposed to be the next one in line but I still sit there with my thumb up my ass for 10 minutes. Stuck behind me in line is some guy who just wants to get to work, so he can get his daughter some braces. Behind him is some waitress who’s pulling 80 hours a week just so she can pay her way through college. But in front of us all, blockading us from society is grandmother dumb bitch fishing out a buck 80 in nickels.

So the faster we get the work, the more hours we can put in. Meaning that the government can steal just little bit more out of our pay checks and maybe they might give a little more to you guys. Maybe then some of you wouldn’t need to eat cat food anymore. I mean what the hell live a little,

Your old, you’re probably going to kick the bucket in a week anyway. So make it worth it, come on just step on the gas. Take that Lincoln town car and do a buck ten in a school zone. Stay up past 8pm and fuck it be wild, don’t take your heart pills that day. Pull back the clutch on that rascal and pop a wheelie with that bitch.

This Rant excludes all old people who still have jobs and or don’t get in the way. So thank you to our elders who defended our country during war and kept our country running. So enjoy your retirement and please get the fuck out of the way, please and thank you…drink one for me…

~ by jeremythegreatshow on September 20, 2008.